Saturday, October 6, 2007

Our Domains

Having only one useable arm for the past four weeks, it has been interesting how much I have had to give up and how it has affected me.

Then I heard on telly or the radio this week, how everyone inhabits their own domains, and how clearly delineated they can be.

The more I ponder on this subject the more separate ones I discover.

I cook, shop, clean house, and feed and manage the poodles. I groom, clip, bath and decide on their day to day movements and needs.

I garden, building new beds in the larger areas, deciding what I would like to go in and where ….. size, shapes, colours, and how I feel about each new acquisition. I plant and manage the vegetable garden, weeding, watering, mulching and checking for pests. I harvest from that for the kitchen and give the excess away to friends and family. I spray the driveways and paths for weeds. My man is not allowed to spray, as he kills the good stuff and uses too much concentrate. He is only allowed to spray outside the house yard.

I love to cook, and make jams, chutneys, pickles and sauces with produce I grow or collect from elsewhere. I bake a cake most weeks. I manage our healthy eating and try to keep our weight and cholesterol levels down.

My studio is my haven. I draw, paint, experiment and plan new work. I hang my new works on the walls for viewing by visitors. I disappear down there when I am angry, sick, or just plain tired of the world. My past life’s possessions are mostly stored down there in the cupboards. I relinquish that domain up when family comes to stay, remaking the beds, cleaning the small kitchen and bathroom and tidying up my creative clutter. Works I don’t want seen get hidden or thrown away.

My laptop and old computer upstairs are another one. I build websites, add to my blog, process photos, email to my family and friends and surf the net. I have a gorgeous laptop, a Toshiba Qosmio, which I got for my last year’s birthday. With that, I can go upstairs to bed, plug it in to bunny ears and watch TV if he’s watching the footy or something I don’t want to see.

I manage the bank accounts, planning bill payments and savings plans.

I maintain contact with my daughters, remembering birthdays and orchestrating family get togethers. I also arrange our small social dinner parties and who comes and when.

My man has his shed and his paid work/ career. He manages the household heating/ collecting, splitting and stacking firewood. He brings wood in and lights the fire on cool evenings.

He plans his/our motorcycling trips and when he goes off on rides with his mates. He repairs and renovates around the house and property when needed.

He maintains contact with his children and supports them when needed.

It has taken us many years of balancing what was most important to each of us to set up our areas of expertise.

So, now I cannot perform a lot of these tasks, my frustration level has skyrocketed. I have to invite him into ‘my domains’ that have been so clearly delineated before the accident. In his generosity and eagerness to help, he has stepped on my toes many times, and I on his, and we have bickered and grumped at each other.

We shop together now, and my usual speedy exercise takes on a whole new lean. For some odd reason, I enjoyed our household shopping, but now cannot push the trolley properly, carry or load parcels, or, of course, drive!

Years ago, he used to love shopping, calling it 'hunting and gathering', and enjoyed 'doing laps' of the supermarket. We haven't shopped together much for years as I do it during the week (maybe I will have to re-train him again when this is all over!).

This morning, as we worked on making our Sunday eggs on toast, he used olive oil instead of a dab of butter. I chastised him, telling that the ‘eggs don’t stick with butter’. His eyes rolled at me, as if I should get out of the way, he was doing it.

Just one of many moments when our hackles rise, and then lay back down, remembering that we need each other for so many daily tasks. Especially now.

Today, if it warms up a bit more, we are going to get the hydrobath out and shampoo the poodles together. That will be interesting.


This week my anger level at the perpetrator of my massive lifestyle change has risen markedly, if that is possible.

We heard recently that he was at his monthly Rotary Club meeting and the accident was brought up. He was good naturedly fined one dollar for knocking me off my motorbike. the story goes he was apparently very irritated it had become so public. This man is a popular local doctor who did me such damage, but apart from a quick call nine days later to check the insurance was under way, has never shown any concern whatsoever.

So, I am making sure everyone knows. We still live in a country area, and gossip goes round like wildfire, so it’s not hard to do.

"Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off. "
... Author Unknown

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