Monday, September 17, 2007

Still There Pumpin' Air

It's been a difficult nine days. Dealing with constant pain has been a battle, and though I have only tried to top up on meds when it became too much, that wasn't working for me. I've got to get into a regular routine of pill-popping, and bugger the lining of my stomach.

As the pain began to recede from my smashed wrist, I noticed a deep ache in my elbow, which was swollen, and black and blue. Fearing the worst, and more broken bones, I tracked my poor tired man back to Casualty early yesterday morning for more x-rays. These came up clear for fractures, but the doctor said there was probably some nerve damage.

I'm off to the surgeon on Thursday for X-rays and a check-up. At least I will know better the full extent of the damage.

We have been through a whole gamut of emotions this past week. I've snarled and snapped at my man, and he back at me. We're over that now, which is a relief. My deep anger at the doctor who caused it all, and then walked away, has come and gone, and then returned again, leaving me quite exhausted. Anger is so destructive to the sufferer, and the perpetrator often goes unscathed.

He finally rang last night, and I took the opportunity to voice my deep disappointment at his lack of follow up. He had no choice but to cop it, and he did.

I went to see my Harley yesterday, and from first glance it didn't look too bad. But with the damage list in my hand, there are bent and broken bits all over, and the quote is over $6500.

I kinda said goodbye to it then, as I doubt my smashed wrist will ever be able to squeeze that heavy clutch in again. At least the last squeeze on the bars was enough to possibly save my life. Moving faster in that crash would have propelled me under the BMW's wheels.

Today is my first day at home alone, and it's been an uphill battle, but I've worked at making it better.

Another year of glorious Waratahs
I love my row of Arum Lilies along my studio. So moist and green...........

A few caring phone calls from family and friends, a walk around my garden to look at the blossoms, a talk to our soon-to-be-mums sheep, and a bit of a scribble in my studio. The head struggled with the scribbles, but I will persevere and see if I can get beyond that. If I can paint, the days will whip by.

Working the pooter is a real pain. Left hand for capitals, keyboard shortcuts, Photoshopping ..... It goes on and on. I have discovered I can lean my broken hand at the side with a 'better finger' resting at the 'shift' button, I can tune in and out of the Caps without too much pain. Right hand for typing, which is a bit slower. I have old photos to work on for a friend but hitting those left hand buttons would take too much maneuvering.

"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved. "
... Marcus Antonius

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